My Reason Why

Friday, August 10, 2018

As you know, I had our beautiful baby boy, Declan, earlier this year. I always knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom, if possible, while my kids were young. So transitioning from the day in day out hustling, entrepreneur lifestyle, to spending all day with this little human, nursing, napping, changing diapers, and more was, in some ways, an unexpected struggle.

Don't get me wrong, I love love love being home with my boy! I love his smiles when he looks at me, I love knowing that I am the one he relies on, and I am lucky enough to have the ability to stay home and spend endless amounts of time with him. I know its a blessing and a luxury not all women are able to have.

But in some ways I couldn't help but feel a little derailed. And it isn't as though we had Declan unexpectedly, we had been trying for a baby for a little while so you would think I should have known what to expect. But that just goes to show you never know what to expect! I felt like my hard work towards my career was getting left behind. I started feeling like I had no energy for anything besides baby duty and, in a way, that I owe it to this little human I created to give him my 24/7 attention. That left me feeling so disconnected from people, friends, and things I did before having a baby. I don't know if this was stemming from some aspect of postpartum depression, all I know is I needed to do something about it.

So I decided, though I may not be able to be out and about as much as I used to, I could always use online platforms and social media to better stay connected and still feel like I am growing personally and helping others to do the same. I've always loved writing (no promises that my grammar will be perfect) but I've kept a journal since elementary school and its always been very therapeutic for me!

So thats my reason why I started this blog. I don't feel like my life is anything extra special or super exciting all the time. I haven't gone through some miraculous experience that can inspire tons of people. But everyone has a story, and from that, stems life lessons and growth. And I hope to share mine in a way that is helpful for readers and of course entertaining! I have decided I don't want to let my inadequate feelings get in the way of my desire to be a positive influence and connect with others around me.

And as I went back and forth debating if I should even post this, I got such a sweet text from someone who has inspired me so much in my career and is just a great example of a strong woman, she said.... "At an airport somewhere thinking of you and having so much appreciation for your love and dedication to be there for others. You're beautiful!" Funny enough that gave me the courage to go ahead and post this! Also I need to send more thoughtful notes and texts because this small act did so much good for me!

There will always be people who don't agree or won't be interested in what I'm saying, and thats ok. My hope is that there is at least one person I could possibly help and encourage in some way, and if there is, then its worth putting myself out there! Though it is still scary to share my thoughts and parts of my personal life with the world, I hope my experiences, thoughts, and day to day life can end up resonating with someone! And if it does, send me a message and lets be friends! Happy Friday everyone!


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