Birthday #27

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

I love birthdays because I treat them like New Years Day! I always find myself looking back on the past year, the lows, the highs, and everything in between! 26 was a special year because it was the year I became a mom. Honestly a lot happened while I was 26. I had another great wedding season, we moved, we got another puppy to join our family, we bought a house, and I have been doing great at keeping the majority of my plants alive! But the highlight and greatest accomplishment was definitely bringing my little guy into the world! Which brings me to something that has been on my mind lately!

Someone messaged me a few days ago asking me questions about me and my family and sharing how her experience of wanting to wait to have kids hasn't been very well received by other family members. As we chatted I told her how sorry I was that family members weren't being respectful of her and her husband's choices. I know families can be so close that they feel they can have a say about anything and everything in each other's lives. But honestly I feel boundaries, respect, and privacy are a must when your child, grandchild, sibling, etc is married and making important life decisions with their spouse.

My mom's advice when I first got married was to enjoy time together with Tony and wait a little while to have kids, because once you do there is no going back, you're a parent forever. I am so grateful for that advice she gave right from the start. There was no pressure! But I know we sometimes have parents, in laws, or grandparents that are so excited for grandkids they can't help it....and in those instances all I can say is don't be afraid to tell them the truth (though I must admit part of me would rather ignore prodding questions because, is it really anyones business?) but they are family and you can't help but know their intentions are good.

I took my mom's advice and we decided we wanted to wait a little while to have kids, mainly so Tony and I could have time focusing on one another, traveling, making memories, and doing things to strengthen our relationship. I'm not saying you can't do this if you start your family right from the get go, but having a child of my own now, all I can say is, it's a 24/7 job. Tony and I have had to learn how to balance new responsibilities and our pre baby lifestyle!

The biggest take away for me when it came to waiting a little longer than some to start a family is, I have had no FOMO! Before I even met and married Tony I had things I wanted to do, places I wanted to visit, etc. Most importantly, when I did get married, I never wanted to feel like having kids took away my ability to accomplish those plans/goals. Luckily Tony and I were on the same page (because I did date some guys who clearly wanted to settle down and have kids STAT). Tony and I have been blessed to be able to do so much together and decided to start our family when we both really truly felt ready!

But with anything there can be possible negatives or unexpected outcomes. We didn't expect to struggle when trying to get pregnant, or didn't expect a miscarriage, all which set us back another year or so from when we decided to really start trying. And I have heard some women say, thats why you shouldn't wait so long, (not that I was running out of time or anything), and comments like that always rub me the wrong way. Whichever you choose, you can never know every possible outcome. Sometimes you want to start a family right away and it ends up taking years. Sometimes you want to wait a while and you get an unexpected surprise. The lovely thing is whatever happens it will always work out. You do what feels right, whether that be starting a family earlier or later than what people in your life might suggest. Whatever path you go down you will be learning and growing along the way and that is what life is all about!

I feel so incredibly blessed to have the things I do at this stage in life, though I do feel so weird saying I am now 27! I am so grateful for an amazing, hardworking husband who takes such good care of our little family, manages to rock his job, keep up with my work schedule, and my constant crazy travel plans! I'm excited to take on a new year of life, which I am sure will be even better than the last! As always thanks for reading my random thoughts!


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